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'Military Working Cat' Project Derailed By Intriguing, Empty Box

LACKLAND AFB, Texas – An experimental program to train housecats for military working roles will be scrapped, defense officials have told Duffel Blog. The $93 million initiative, which sought to utilize the feline’s stealth, agility and nine lives in espionage and counterespionage operations, was ultimately derailed by an inconspicuous, yet utterly intriguing, empty cardboard box.…

LACKLAND AFB, Texas – An experimental program to train housecats for military working roles will be scrapped, defense officials have told Duffel Blog. The $93 million initiative, which sought to utilize the feline’s stealth, agility and nine lives in espionage and counterespionage operations, was ultimately derailed by an inconspicuous, yet utterly intriguing, empty cardboard box.

“Training dogs, now that’s one thing. Cats are – well, cats are an entirely different animal,” admits lead handler, Master Sgt. Felicia Keys. “Dogs have discipline – you can teach a dog to ignore tennis balls, Frisbees, squeaky toys. A cat is going to do whatever the hell it wants.”

“Observe,” she says as she gestures to a video monitor showing a low-light training simulation from the adjacent room, where a military working cat (MWC) is being evaluated. The room has been outfitted to replicate an office filled with sensitive and classified materials posing a grave threat to national security.

via ‘Military Working Cat’ Project Derailed By Intriguing, Empty Box.

Sox wants credit for almost signing up for this program.

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  1. ultimaratioregis

    “Working cat”. Like “tall midget” and “dry water”.

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  2. captainned

    Maru is secretly a ninja, but those damn boxes just get in the way.

    I actually have a working cat. She has declared jihad on the local rodent population and, once the ground is thawed, is good for at least 2 kills/day (at least that she brings back).

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  3. Tarl

    If the cat is not responding to training, then you’re not using enough pain.

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  4. Quartermaster

    So, Sox is desperate to get away from you, but not desperate enough for a trip to sunny Lackland?

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  5. diogenesofnj

    As Schrödinger once told us, if you are going to have a cat in a box, you need to avoid quantum entanglements.

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